I’ve always been able to escape through music. No matter what I was struggling with, I could always find a song to help me cope or relate. I firmly believe that music has saved me from myself on more than one occasion. And even as I found myself drowning in the sea of encephalitis, I relied on the sweet escape of melody and lyrics to bring me through. I fell asleep listening to it, found comfort in it and even used it to communicate when my own words failed me.

I believe in the healing power of music with all my heart. And, so I’ve decided to compile a list of songs that have helped me through the various phases of autoimmune encephalitis and recovery. Note: My taste in music is eclectic at best, so there should be something for everyone here – I hope you find songs that comfort, inspire and even make you laugh. And please share the songs that have helped you get through hard times in the comments!

Below are links to each song and my favorite line from each of them. Click here for full YouTube playlist.

When you know something is wrong…

Disturbia | Rhianna
It’s a thief in the night to come and grab you / It can creep up inside you and consume you
A disease of the mind / It can control you / It’s too close for comfort…

Brain Damage | Pink Floyd
And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too / I’ll see you on the dark side of the moon
The lunatic is in my head / The lunatic is in my head…
You lock the door / And throw away the key / There’s someone in my head but it’s not me…

Thriller | Micheal Jackson
And no one’s gonna save you from the beast about to strike
You know it’s thriller, thriller night
You’re fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight

Trying to ask for help…

I Need a Doctor | Skylar Grey
I’m about to lose my mind / You’ve been gone for so long
I’m runnin’ outta time / I need a doctor, call me a doctor
I need a doctor, doctor to bring me back to life…

Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me | Elton John
Don’t discard me
Just because you think I mean you harm
(Don’t discard me just because you think I mean you harm, no)
But these cuts I have
Oh, they need love to help them heal

Help! | The Beatles
(Now) And now my life has changed in oh so many ways / (My independence) My independence seems to vanish in the haze
(But) But every now (Every now and then) and then I feel so insecure
(I know that I) I know that I just need you like I’ve never done before
Help me if you can, I’m feeling down / And I do appreciate you being ’round / Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won’t you please, please help me

Dark Side | Kelly Clarkson
So don’t give up on me / Please remind me who I really am
Everybody’s got a dark side / Do you love me? / Can you love mine?

For caregivers and loved ones…

Calling All Angels | Train
I need to know that things are gonna look up / ‘Cause I feel us drowning in a sea spilled from a cup
When there is no place safe and no safe place to put my head / When you feel the world shake from the words that are said
And I’m calling all angels / I’m calling all you angels
I won’t give up if you don’t give up

Fix You | Coldplay
And the tears come streaming down your face / When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste / Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home / And ignite your bones / And I will try to fix you…

Her Diamonds | Rob Thomas
By the light of the moon / She rubs her eyes / Sits down on the bed and starts to cry
And there’s something less about her
And I don’t know what I’m supposed to do / So I sit down and I cry too
And don’t let her see
And she says oh / I can’t take no more / Her tears like diamonds on the floor
And her diamonds bring me down / Cause I can’t help her now

How to Save a Life | The Fray
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend / Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night / Had I known how to save a life

When you need to jam out ‘ironically’…

Don’t Let Me Get Me | P!nk
Doctor, doctor won’t you please prescribe me something – A day in the life of someone else?
Cuz I’m a hazard to myself
Don’t let me get me / I’m my own worst enemy
It’s bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating / Don’t wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else…

Basketcase | Green Day
Sometimes I give myself the creeps / Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up / I think I’m cracking up
Am I just paranoid?

Bohemian Rhapsody | Queen
Is the real life? / Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide / No escape from reality

I Wanna be Sedated | Ramones
Hurry hurry hurry before I go insane / I can’t control my fingers I can’t control my brain
Oh no no no no no…
I wanna be sedated

When you can laugh at yourself…

Lucky 4 You, Tonight I’m Just Me | SheDaisy
Number 5 just cries a river a minute / 7 wants to tie you up and drown you in it
Yeah, 14 just wants to say so long, bygones
32 wants to do things to you that’ll make you blush / 10 would key the El Camino that you love so much
And there ain’t nobody wants to mess with 23 / Oh, lucky 4 you tonight I’m just me

The Monster | Eminem
I’m friends with the monster that’s under my bed / Get along with the voices inside of my head
You’re trying to save me, stop holding your breath / And you think I’m crazy, yeah, you think I’m crazy…

Wonder | Natalie Merchant
Doctors have come from distant cities / Just to see me
Stand over my bed / Disbelieving what they’re seeing 
They say I must be one of the wonders / Of god’s own creation
And as far as they can see they can offer / No explanation…

Fighting back and moving on…

Ghost | Ella Henderson
I had to go through hell to prove I’m not insane / Had to meet the devil just to know his name
And that’s when my love was burning / Yeah, it’s still burning
I keep going to the river to pray / ‘Cause I need something that can wash out the pain
And at most I’m sleeping all these demons away
But your ghost, the ghost of you / It keeps me awake

Skyscraper | Demi Lovato
You can take everything I have / You can break everything I am
Like I’m made of glass / Like I’m made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down / I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper / Like a skyscraper

Unwell | Matchbox Twenty
Hold on / Feeling like I’m headed for a breakdown / And I don’t know why
But I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell / I know right now you can’t tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see / A different side of me
I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired / I know right now you don’t care
But soon enough you’re gonna think of me / And how I used to be…me

Hit Me With Your Best Shot | Pat Benetar
You don’t fight fair / But that’s OK, see if I care
Knock me down, it’s all in vain / I’ll get right back on my feet again
Hit me with your best shot

Fight Song | Rachel Platten
This is my fight song / Take back my life song / Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on / Starting right now I’ll be strong / I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes / ‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me

Carry On | Fun.
If you’re lost and alone / Or you’re sinking like a stone.
Carry on.
May your past be the sound / Of your feet upon the ground.
Carry on.